My Brain

I don't think I'll ever understand how my brain works. Everyone that has known me for a considerable amount of time knows just how many things I have tried to do, have done, or plan to do. Whether it be learning piano, guitar, cello, or audio manipulation. Or how about photography, painting, digital painting, touch-up, and photo manipulation. Some of these things have stuck, like photography or dart frogs. But I can't help but shake my head at the amount of time and money spent on the unsuccessful attempts.

I've heard that my mind requires challenges and that's why I am constantly searching for another fix. This does make sense to me. I just don't understand what influences me to stop trying and move on. If it's because my mind needs a challenge, then shouldn't it halt interest once I have mastered said skill or hobby? This is where being human kicks in, unfortunately, as I lack confidence in myself and my ability to learn. I know I could spend the time on piano and music. I could learn. Nothing is stopping me aside from money and my own willpower.

I'm not worried about starting at UTM this fall. The money I'm concerned about since the Army has failed me yet again, but the learning I am hungry for. I've noticed that every day I learn something new. I don't mean that in the general way that most people say that. It's a literal learning experience, though irrelevant to my job or chosen college (sometimes). But it's all distracted learning. Bits and pieces of information. How to tune to A on a cello, orchid care, or what could cause a Dendrobates Ventrimaculatus to drop dead without notice. What could I do to focus my mind on one thing and learn it? Choosing to learn instead of play games helped tons with learning dart frogs.

I guess we'll see what happens when my cello gets here.

Amazing, Joe Hisaishi

I am in jealous awe.

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